12 January - Raphey's Epic-Length Blog Post

First, let me just say, I know this was supposed to be your [Ed: Allison's] blog day and I’m sorry for stealing it.  I know your life is extremely exciting because you can make an airplane blanket into almost anything.  (awkward plane rides are the worst) Level vibes mon.

“Raphey…Raphey!  Are you still coming with us?” I awake startled and confused to Amber’s whispers.  Her sound traveled through the room, passed by 4 other unconscious guys still recovering from a hard days work and struck me right square in the ear-drum.  “Huh - oh yea! Hold on, I’ll be right there!” I nearly smack my head on the ceiling as I throw off the covers and leap off the bunk-bed (In the act of being a gentleman, I was unfortunately stuck with the top bunk).  I was supposed to get up at 6:20 to be ready to leave the dock at 7:00 and it was already 6:45!  My excitement and determination to dive this morning completely blocks out that dizziness feeling that comes with just waking up.  It also blocks out the pain of landing on my ankle sideways after jumping from the bed, but I silently hop around with my teeth clenched, trying not to wake anybody else up.  I threw on my loin cloth [Ed: swimsuit] and ran out. Outside the room, almost tripping over a pyramid of empty bottles and banana peels (my fault), I sprint down the stairs, down a glass of pineapple juice (or whatever strange, glowing-neon concoction was in the juice fountains in the kitchen), and made it to the docks in time to suit up and jump into the boat.  Amber, Brad, and Alan (an awesome guy from New Zealand, who has a wicked accent) who had recruited me to help out in Amber’s project (well…it was more like a week of me begging them to let me tag along after I got certified for scuba diving with the rest of the DITs) joined me on the boat.  We shipped out as the sun was just stretching itself across the sky and every photosynthetic being in the ocean readied themselves for another day (10 extra points Joe?).  [Ed: "photosynthetic being"  is too general an answer, partial credit only...]

With Brad and the wheel, Alan took the time to explain my job as his diving buddy.  Every time Allan pointed out a specific sponge species, I was to hammer a number tag into the sediment with a mallet, while he took pictures and measurements.   Sounded like a pretty sweet deal.  As a plus, I would be scuba diving off the coast of Jamaica!  I know it seems obvious, but even a week and a half into this trip I still have to step back and pinch myself sometimes to believe the craziness of our situation – and this is our winter vacation!  It should be snowing! 

 We cruised along the coast, approaching the dive zone known as Dairy Bowl [Ed: actually the site is Dairy Bull] (considering this is a large dairy bowl full of seafood, I don’t know why I even decided to go on this extremely un-kosher dive in the first place).  Besides a few early-bird fishermen (I’ve learned that some of these guys can free-dive to 60 feet without an air-tank), we were the only boat on the water.  Amber let us know that she had brought some snacks for breakfast.  She had some bad news: “unfortunately, I just brought a large bunch of bananas.” I assured her that that was definitely not a problem. Cool-runnings.

Alan and I dove into the water and began our descent into the depths of the sea.  Trailing my partner’s bubbles, with all of my equipment, I felt like Sean Connery as James Bond in Thunderball.  The only difference was that I didn’t have a cool harpoon gun, a tuxedo under my wet suit, or a beautiful Bond girl waiting for me to save her (she’s safely back in Queens).  After gliding over acres of coral, he finally spotted a sponge and pointed me to it (at first I thought he was pointing to my head because of the species richness of my weave.  I have whole ecosystems in there, it’s scary).  I took out Thor’s mighty hammer, and instead of the slow-motion effect I thought being underwater would have on my hammering, it was in fact no different than hammering on land (although after the first hit, the recoil sent me flying up in the water).  After an hour of tagging and nailing (and avoiding a huge spotted eel), we were low on air and slowly ascended to the boat.  Aboard the boat, Brad and Amber jumped in and Allan and I chewed the fat (and most of the bananas).  We even spotted a gigantic-sized sea turtle (which breathed fire and everything!) [Ed: no, it did not.].  We whistled at it, but for some reason it didn’t respond.  We went back down for one more hour to tag sponges when the other team came up.  During one hammering session, we heard the roar of an engine growing louder and louder.  We looked up to the surface just as a huge boat passed over.  It had a glass bottom and a bunch of tourists were peering through.  Now I know what it feels like to be a fish in an aquarium.  Sadly, they didn’t throw any peanuts.

We returned to land just in time to catch the end of lunch (Chinese noodles).  There was an awkward sharing of the dining room between the mighty Seawolves (who had just recently dominated and then exiled the C.W. Post kids) and a new group who threatened our newly gained territory.  A bad case of inter-specific competition.  Although I had left my project partner El Chupacabre [Ed: Dan] to face the morning shift alone, he completed it and even did the mid-day recordings (fighting off an eel and a ravenous barracuda!) (yea, it’s a good song).  I put on my already damp wetsuit and jumped in the water.  The wetsuit may be uncomfortable to put on, but it makes jumping into the water 10 times better than just jumping in with only boxers.  With our powers combined (and the help of captain planet) we finished the evening shift no sweat (Dan also spotted a scorpion fish.  What is it about Dan the donutman that attracts the deadliest creatures out there?).  We came back, updated the powerpoint presentation, and headed to dinner.   Dinner, like always, was great, but people really need to learn to share the food and not block the aisles with their seats [Ed: the irony of this last clause is unbelievable...].  I listened to Beefsteak (the shake and bake gangsta) amaze us with his flawless movie-line memory and superb impersonations.  On the subject of Brian being flawless, I think although he didn’t have too much experience in volleyball before this trip, he has surpassed us all in terms of consistency and can lay the smack-down on every serve.  By the end of dinner, Cassie, Anna, Alina, and Allison had succeeded in transforming me into a crime-fighting rabja (a combo rabbi/ninja).  I battled Cassie out into the streets of Jamaica with sound effects and everything.  It was way more intense than Peter fighting the man-sized chicken (Family Guy…nevermind). 

On the way to the computer room, I cautiously passed by the water tower, the most dangerous part of the Discovery Bay Marine Labs.  My good friend Tonto had been devoured by a 6 foot long venomous snake only the other night.  At the computer lab, we all presented the work we’ve done so far on our projects (yea, I chickened out) and dispersed.  I had to write this blog, because I needed to get some sleep for the morning, but the rest of the gang all decided to do something different.  So they played “catch phrase.”  To some that play this game, it may be a joke, but to our group (ages 19-28) it is serious.  People have yelled at each other in frustration, thrown the game off the balcony, and some have lost limbs (thanks a lot Cassie).  We don’t mess around. 

A small chat by the docks with my hommies Allison and Texas T and then it was off to bed.  After a long, tiring day of research in Discovery Bay, the reward of a few hours of sleep is extremely appreciated and well deserved.  I put my head down to the pillow and let out a grand sigh.  I drifted into sleep to the sound of the wookies and turkeys that dwell in the trees (and on the BRANCHES) of Jamaica.

-- Raphaelii Bergmanus

Comments

[Diane Schubach]

Wow, sounds like a long day. It's going to go down to single digit temperatures on LI by Friday, so enjoy it while you can!

[Liiiisssaaaa]

Note to all: Do not touch Raphey's weave! He's been known to bite...

[Dory Bergman]

So, how's your ankle?

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